maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
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MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
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