just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
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