i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
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