i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
