this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
you know you're not getting laid when you start breaking awkward silences with quotes from Robot Chicken
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Randomize
