She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
You called me at 2am singing 'happy birthday' while screaming 'I fucking love you' verses, all while eating a burrito and taking a piss off your apartment balcony
Yeah I know, the people below me already told me
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
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