I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
