That's when you crack a 10am beer
Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Randomize
