I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
Randomize
