I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
Randomize
