Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
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