brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
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