Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
Randomize
