He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
you would pick up someone in the library
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
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