So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
I stole a fireplace last night.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
