Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
You left your phone here
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