literally had 100 drinks last night.
in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
Randomize
