State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
Randomize
