This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
