You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
