honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Actions speak louder than pants.
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
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