she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
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I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
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