so that wasnt chicken after all
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize
