If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
i think i scared a bird with my dick
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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