I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
