I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Randomize
