You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
Randomize