please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
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