I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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