First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
Randomize
