So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
