I should be sponsored by Trojan
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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