It's like a parade of train wrecks.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
Randomize
