Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
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