Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
