I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
Randomize
