when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
Randomize
