i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
Randomize
