Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
please come you make the beer taste better
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
Verdict: uncircumcised.
Randomize
