I got her a Nickelback box set.
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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