It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
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