well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Randomize