38 yer olds are good kisserssss
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
Randomize
