i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
We left the knife in your bed.
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
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