I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
Randomize
