I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
Randomize
