I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
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