She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
Dude I just picked up a married chick while her husband was playing pool.
What do you mean you picked her up? How are you gonna leave the bar?
I didn't. I fucked her in the men's room. Come get me before he finds out.
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
Randomize
