you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
Randomize
