you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
