what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
Randomize
