um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Randomize
