you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
Randomize
