On imdb the canadians say It's amazing
what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
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