the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
Randomize