your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
i need to put some appletini on your dick
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
Randomize
